The Prevalence of Lying

The Prevalence of Lying

Column written for Oregon State University, published sometime between 2009-2012

According to the dictionary a lie is “a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood; something intended or serving to convey a false impression.”

Simply put to lie is to not tell the truth which upon interpretation could include saying something untrue, acting in a way that is not true to one’s character, or even withholding the truth.

Lying is insanely common. It happens in many situations, has no specific demographics, and has become a part of everyday life. For example: Bill Clinton lied about his affair with intern Monica Lewinski, professional athletes have been caught using steroids against regulations, and in advertising all sorts of lies can be told. Yet, in a CBS News interview with Barack Obama he stated “I don’t think it’s appropriate to lie… including the big and soft lies, the fudging, and spinning of the truth.”

Allison Kornet wrote in an article in Psychology Today called The Truth About Lying regarding this infectious disease. She includes some information by Psychologist Bella DePaulo that conducted a study about people lying. Here is just some of what they found:

• Both men and women lie in approximately a fifth of their social exchanges lasting 10 or more minutes; over the course of a week they deceive about 30 percent of those with whom they interact one-on-one.
• College students lie to their mothers in one out of two conversations
• Eighty-five percent of the couples interviewed in a 1990 study of college students reported that one or both partners had lied about past relationships or recent indiscretions.
• Women are especially likely to stretch the truth in order to protect someone else's feelings. Men, on the other hand, are more prone to lying about themselves. (Interestingly enough women were also found to be better at detecting lies.)

If you think about it, throughout the day not only do you likely tell a lie, but so does everyone else. We live in a world of lying.

Despite the fact that it is so common, finding out that someone lied to you is still unsettling. To lie is considered to be morally wrong, and being lied to can be hurtful.

From a religious perspective lying is even included in the Ten Commandments stating “Thou shalt not bear false witness” (Exodus 20:16). In general, churches teach that we should \\]be honest in our dealings with men. Going against this would naturally bring feelings of guilt.

In a psychological study by Festinger and Carlsmith the participant was asked to perform a very boring task. At the end they were paid either $1 or $20 to lie to the other waiting participants saying that the task was fun. Later that participant was asked what they personally thought of the task. Those that were given only $1 reported the task as enjoyable since lying for only $1 did not seem justifiable as it did for those participants given $20. Evidently guilt is certainly involved when a person lies.

So why do we lie? There are millions of reasons. Typically it is because the truth is expected to bring upon some consequence that could be avoided by lying. We lie to not hurt someone’s feelings, to avoid being in trouble, to make ourselves look better, etc. Regardless of the reason however, it has some serious consequences.

How many divorces, jobs lost, relationships ruined, have been due to lying.

Even at a young age we learn to avoid those consequences by lying more. Children often report “I didn’t do it,” although the evidence can be written all over them.

In an article titled When Your Children Lie to You by Terry Olson stated “Often a parent’s first impulse when he suspects a lie is to say, “I know you’re lying! Now tell me the truth!” The trouble with accusing a child of lying is that you’re practically inviting him to tell another lie. Why? Because if he’s lying to protect his image of himself, and a parent puts on more pressure, he’s going to protect himself even more—and the lie grows.”

However the consequences of lying aren’t just getting in trouble. It hurts every relationship. Where is the trust? It’s hard to rely or trust in someone that lies to you or others because it becomes difficult to know what is truth and what is not.

I’m sure you can think of situations in which lying would seem to be better than telling the truth. My best answer for this is that it is only when the greater good cannot be accomplished by telling the truth. For example: if you were helping Jews during the Holocaust and some German soldiers came asking if you were helping Jews… perhaps in that case the great good can be achieved by not admitting the truth. However, these situations are rare and often occur when those requesting the truth will abuse the information.

Lying is very common, but it’s a bad habit. This does not mean you have to be absolutely open about everything. There is certainly some tact involved, but my point is that honesty really is the best policy. I don’t believe lying could ever be completely eradicated, but wouldn’t it be nice if we could trust people to hold to their word and to be honest when they tell you things about themselves or others?